When God first called Liz and I to “Give our lives away” New Years eve of 2010 I was both excited and challenged. I believed that as I stepped out in obedience that God would reward me, not with fulfillment or joy, but with ease. I believed that because I was doing the right thing that my task should be easy as a reward. This could not have been further from the truth, and I wanted to share with you so far what it has meaned to me to give my life away:1. Giving your life away is difficult. Packing up an apartment into a storage unit, quitting your job, packing a car, filling out over 20 forms with identification, changing your address and saying goodbye to friends and family for over a year is very, very difficult.
2. Giving your life away is delay of gratification. As I ramped up several film & TV projects before I left, all but one of them has now fallen to the wayside as I put my career on hold and each will require a great deal of energy to get going again. I’m not making connections or getting more experience, despite a single script I’m working on, nothing else I’m doing will directly further my career and I’ve had to trust God to take care of it on the back end.
3. Giving your life away is sacrifice. Except getting minimum payments on Liz’s student loans, we are not making any dent in our remaining student debt. We are not putting any money into savings or a 401k. We are living by faith that God will provide for us while we are here as well as when we return. We believe that He is indeed a faithful God.
4. Giving your life away can be frustrating. Leaving everything that is comfortable, normal and familiar (friends, electricity, food, product availability and common language) and having to adapt to ways that are completely foreign can completely break a person. As much as I’ve enjoyed living here there are days when I wish I could walk down the street without being called “Mzungu” (White person) or be able to converse with people I meet without having to think through every single word. To not be able to find things that I need or spend an entire day on one task has required me to trust God that He is able to accomplish what He desires here.
5. Lastly, Giving your life away can be freeing. Jesus said that the only way to free ourselves from our addiction to “self” and “selfishness” is in fact to give our lives away. Without this experience we could spend the rest of our lives worrying about “me”. What’s best for “me”, what’s comfortable for “me”, what’s fulfilling to “me” or simplest for “me”, but God never called us to live for “me” but for Him, and if we lived to love Him, we would also live to love those who are around us.
I’m thankful for this year, and as I experience deep culture shock, sorrow and loss I anticipate the joy of having done the right thing, the thing that God has called me to. When we left I met many, many people who said, “I would give anything for the opportunity to do what you’re doing.” Yet when I asked them why they wouldn’t do it now, there response was a sad reflection of their fate, “I could never do that now, I have a family….a job…a mortgage…I’m too old…I don’t have the time…the money” and on and on. God give us the strength to give our lives away, to be free from the desire to serve only ourselves, that we may truly love and serve others. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment